Windows & Waves
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
What are Windows and Waves?
Windows & Waves is a community term used to describe the fluctuations of the severity of symptoms experienced by people withdrawing from antidepressants and benzodiazepines.
Waves are a period of intense symptoms, while windows are periods of less intense symptoms or even a temporary remission of symptoms.
Oftentimes, symptoms tend to follow this up-and-down pattern rather than a steady, downward progression.
The “windows and waves” pattern is not caused by a single known mechanism. It is most commonly understood as the result of the nervous system gradually re-stabilizing after disruption, a process that does not occur in a straight line.
Overall Severity of Symptoms During Withdrawal
Example of a gradual downward trend with windows and waves over time. Do not use as a comparison to your data.
Fluctuation of Windows and Waves During Recovery
A commonly reported pattern in windows and waves suggests that early in withdrawal, waves may be more frequent or prolonged, with some individuals experiencing few or no windows.
Over time, as the nervous system adjusts, some people report an increase in the frequency or duration of windows, along with changes in the intensity of waves.
The recovery process is not linear, and the patterns of windows and waves can vary widely based on the person. For example, an individual might experience a long window and then a return of waves. Regardless of the seemingly unpredictable pattern, our nervous system is actively healing.
Waves
People's experiences with antidepressant withdrawal can differ greatly, therefore each person's windows and waves may present differently as well. The intensity of waves, the degree of relief during windows, and the duration of both can vary based on a range of factors, including the individual, the medication, and how it was reduced.
For example, some individuals report experiencing intense waves of anxiety, depression, and neurological symptoms, while others may experience primarily physical symptoms, such as a bout of flu-like symptoms. Even though these experiences look different, both can be part of a wave.
Peaks
A wave's severity does not always follow a smooth or predictable pattern. Instead of rising and falling like a single bell curve, both the type and intensity of symptoms can fluctuate within the wave itself.
For example, during waves I personally experience panic attacks. Some waves may include one panic attack, while others may include several. These can be followed by intrusive thoughts or shifts into depressive symptoms before the wave subsides.
When I graph the severity of my waves, they often appear uneven, almost as if the wave contains smaller waves within it. I refer to these periods of increased intensity as “peaks.”
Example of a Wave Compared to a Wave with Peaks
A wave does not always rise and fall in one smooth curve. Some waves contain smaller spikes in severity, which may feel like peaks within the larger wave.
Simplified Wave
A smooth rise and fall, similar to a single bell-curve shape.
Wave with Peaks
A more uneven wave with multiple spikes in severity within the same overall wave.
Protracted Withdrawal
In some cases, individuals report more prolonged or persistent symptoms, with waves continuing to fluctuate for months or, in some cases, years after the medication is reduced or discontinued. The reasons this occurs are not yet fully understood, but factors such as abrupt discontinuation, faster tapers, longer duration of use, and individual sensitivity may play a role. Some individuals report that these waves lessen over time, though the course can vary widely from person to person.
Windows
Windows are periods of lower-intensity symptoms or temporary remission of withdrawal symptoms. They can vary just as much as waves, in the sense that a window does not necessarily mean a complete absence of symptoms. Especially during severe withdrawal, a window may simply be a break from a particularly painful symptom. At other times, a window can be a period when you are functioning normally and not thinking about withdrawal.
Windows are often described as the saving grace of the withdrawal process. They provide much-needed periods of relief from waves and help restore the energy needed to keep going. In my personal experience, windows bring back a sense of safety in my mind and a return to baseline. Sometimes after an intense wave, my windows provide me with a relief I have never experienced before, like I survived a near death experience.
The shifting between windows and waves can make balancing priorities difficult. During waves, it can feel like you are simply trying to survive each moment, while windows can create pressure to “catch up” or be as productive as possible. However, it’s important to genuinely enjoy these periods of relief and to recognize that waves do pass—they are not permanent.